It's a New Day

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Whooo, I finally know about another blend challenge! It's been driving me crazy since all these sites are all "Oh, well I'll have the winners up by Tuesday!" and then it's like... Thursday, and they're not up. It's like, "Can't you just fucking update when you say you will?" But maybe I'm just a tad too obsessive about it. Whatever.


Whatever. Oh, I haven't told you if I won anything. Weeeeeeeeell, I did win! I won "Just Neat" for this blend! I'm glad that this one won an award, because I was very pleased with the outcome. Although, once again, I don't like the ones that did end up winning. I think that there were others that were just far better, and unfortunately they either didn't place or got an award like mine, rather than a gold, silver, or bronze. Sigh. Personal preference and all, but still. Anyways. So yay, another award! That's 3/4 now ;) If you'rekeeping track. Which I am.

There... was something I was going to say. I know it. But... I forgot. Sigh. 'Tis ok.


Well, here's one thing. You know that Buffy blend I made for that site? The Welcome to the Hellmouth one? That I didn't think was going to win? Well... [suspense] I was right! It won nothing ;) Bwah, bet you thought I was going to say it won something! The only problem I have with not winning anything is that the stuff that did beat me wasn't what I thought. I mean... there were far better blends than mine that didn't get anything, and then the ones that I thought weren't as good placed. *shrug* I guess it's a matter of preference, but... yeah. Kinda threw me off-guard. Anyways, I'm 2 for 3! Which is still good. Aaaaand I submitted a new blend to that site for their newest challenge. It was a Buffy/Spike challenge, but I hate Buffy/Spike, so I made it non-romantic ;) I actually like this one more than the Buffy one I made before. No clue if it's going to place, only one entry so far but it's far better than mine, so if that's an indication of what's to come, I won't do well. But it's ok! The fun is in the making of the blends!


Hm. What else? OH! Last night Simple Plan was on Pepsi Smash! I completely forgot to mention that, blah. Well it's reairing on Sunday at 6 if you want to see it. Anyways, it was great. Simple Plan is one of the few bands I've heard that sound basically studio-quality live. They're awesome. They played I'd Do Anything, Addicted, and God Must Hate Me. Alyson Hannigan hosted! Yay! I love her, she's so adorable. When she was talking to Pierre (because the guest... person thingy talks to all the bands and asks questions) she asked "Was there any girl in mind for the song Addicted?" and as soon as Pierre said "Well, I wasn't going to say anything on TV, but..." I so knew what he was going to say. If you can't figure it out, he said "It was actually about you!" which of course he was joking about but it was so cute and then Alyson kind of hugged him and it was really funny, especially since she's been engaged for like... ever and...yes. It was adorable and cute and such. Bwah, Dahvid had a pink shirt on that said Rancid. That was directed to Annie, since she's been going on about pink and guys and stuff. Sort of. Kind of. Maybe. Right? Right. Anyways.


Um, yes. I believe that's it.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

A survey I stole from Adri:


// YOUR ROOM, WAKING UP //
01. What color are your walls? Light blue, but you can hardly tell with all the posters/magazine things covering them ;)
02. What color is your bedspread/sheets? Blue-ish with a type of flower-ish design on them, only not.
03. What color is your rug? Uh... carpet-colored.
04. Any posters/bulletin boards/designs in your room? *snort* Posters? No shit. They cover my walls. I'm running out of space.
05. Do you have a TV? Is it big? Nope, but sometimes I steal my mom's small TV and watch things on non-cable channels when I want to listen to something on the radio/do something online while watching TV.
06. Do you have a phone? In my room? Yeah. Not my own line, but I do have my own phone.
07. Do you have your own computer? Thankfully, yes.
08. Do you have a desk? Yep. Had it... as long as I've had this room. Really old and useless.
09. What are your most treasured belongings in your room? My CDs, I guess. I'm so obsessed with music right now. I guess also my computer because... I'm incredibly thankful for having my own computer.
10. What are your most favorite things in your room? Computer, CD's/radio, and bed.
11. Do you have any fancy lights in your room? Nope. I have normal lights on the ceilingish part of the end of the room over my desk, I have a lamp on my dresser, and I have a small weird type of floor lamp.


// GETTING READY //
01. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Go pee =) Um... in the toilet in the bathroom next to my room... not on my bed O_o
02. Anything unusual? ...about what? I wake up. How can you wake up... unusually?
03. Do you pick out your clothes the night before school? No, why bother? They're all essentially the same anyways. I just grab whatever big black shirt that doesn't smell bad is closest to me.
04. Do you try your best to look cute for school? Have you seen the way I dress? Is that supposed to look cute? God, I hope not. Answer? NO.


// SCHOOL //
01. What color is your backpack? Blue
02. Do you try your best when it comes to school work? I try. It depends on what it is and for what class. Some classes you can get by on some stuff if it's just like, half-effort, others you really have to ry. I'm going to try my best next year, though, because... it's high school. It's hard. It determines my future and shit.
03. Do you listen or doodle? Both! Well, usually in algebra I'd doodle, but only because I already knew and understood the stuff (dude, I made it out last trimester with a 98, ok? I DIDN'T NEED TO LISTEN) because we went over it every single day but the people in my class were just really stupid. THEY THOUGHT THAT 12/16 WAS 62% BUT IF YOU MULTIPLIED BOTH THE TOP AND THE BOTTOM BY 10 IT WOULD CHANGE TO LIKE... 80 SOMETHING! Ahem. Anyways. I didn't doodle in Humanities, though, because she was always watching... however I did sort of... doze off. Well I didn't sleep, but I kind of... tuned her out. That wasn't such a good idea, I suppose. I doodled in science, but only because we weren't DOING anything. Actually I played cards too. Um, I'll stop here. You don't need a rundown of every class. But basically? I'd listen if I had to, but if I already understood the crap and could get away with it, I doodled.
04. BE QUIET - we all know you doodle, but what do you doodle? Band logos on my arm. WHAT? And I'd doodle... stuff. Ionno. DOODLING ISN'T PLANNED, IT'S JUST DRAWING WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE AT THE MOMENT! I DON'T DOODLE ONE PARTICULAR THING! I JUST... DOODLED! And I wrote a lot in the RnB.
05. Do you eat your cafeteria food, or go out? It's not really cafeteria food per se. More like chips, pizza, and sodas. And yes, I bought my lunch. Go out? I think that's directed to high schoolers or something cuz... we couldn't go out. Even if we were allowed to leave campus, we'd only have 30 minutes, and that's not enough time to go somewhere, eat, and come back.
06. What do you do right when schools over? Sit on the couch, watch All Things Rock I had taped the night before (if it was on) while starting homework, watch TRL at 4 while doing homework.


// HOME //
When you come home are you. . .
01. Miserable? No, I'm happy to be home. I'm glad that I'm finally home and can watch ATR and TRL and such. This is still based on coming home from school, right?
02. Happy? Yep. All Things Rock! Come on, how could I not be happy watching videos from artists I like and watching Joel and Benji making fools of themselves?
03. Tired? yep
04. LEAVE ME ALONE? Depending on the day I'd have. If say, I got a 20 on an algebra quiz, an A+ on a French test, and an A- on a history test, I'd probably be rambling about them to my mom about it. However, if she asked, "Anything interesting happen?" I'd be like "No." and not talk at all. The teen rebellion thing, I suppose. When she wants to know, I don't want to tell her, but when she says nothing, I want to tell her. Weird, eh? But you'd think she'd notice by now that when she doesn't ask, I say more than when she does.


// OTHER //
01. Do you take walks around your neighborhood sometimes? No, not really. I used to more, because I'd walk down to Carina's house or to the pool, but not anymore. I just sit in my room.
02. What are some hobbies of yours? Listening to music, making graphics online, reading, drawing (I love to draw, but I don't do it enough, and I'm not that great... but I still love it), singing loudly to CD's when my mom's not home, blogging
03. Do you collect anything? CD's? Does that count? *snort* Well it's not collecting. But... I have a lot.
04. What do you do in your spare time? On-line, watch TV, listen to music, read, draw (sometimes... I should do that more)
05. Are you in love, or at least falling? With... who? Like, as in, a guy? At my school/that I know? *blink* No. I love my parents and my bird (it sounds stupid, but seriously... I love this little bird. Notice how when I have 4 birds, I only say I love one. Ionno why, but notice that.) and my friends (platonic! I dont' want to marry any of you or anything ;)) but... in that sense of like... how the question means, no. I don't know any guys well enough to be in love anyways.


// NIGHT TIME //
01. What do you do before you go to bed? Take out contacts, brush teeth, tape All Things Rock, stay on computer reading shit while listening to Loveline.
02. Do you kiss your parents/guardians goodnight, or just say "goodnight"? No, we're not very touchy-feely people.
03. What way do you sleep (ex: on your side, tummy, etc.)? I toss and turn a lot. It depends. I guess on my side, ususally, but sometimes on my back.
04. Do you like your life? Yeah, I really do.


Wheeeee everytime I hear the ad for the GC private concert I go all "EEEEEEEEEEEEE I'M GOING!!!" :D:D:D

The news is still sinking in. I mean like, I know that I'm going to a private GC concert but... I don't really believe it. Last night when I was laying in bed, I kept thinking "Pleeease don't let me wake up from this..." My emotions are crazy right now. One minute I'm super excited, the next I'm like "...oh, that's nice." I won't actually believe that I've won the tickets until I'm actually there, seeing them live.


No gardening today because it's raining outside. In southern California. In July. Anyways.


I had a good dream last night. I dreamt that I was like in some class in high school and Tiffany was there and she sat next to me and then this annoying preppy girl sat on the other side of her. Anyways, like for some reason, Joel came to our class to show this like little video about GC... for some weird reason. I think it had to do with the private GC concert. And like, he talked a little, but his voice wasn't like... it wasn't his voice. It was too high. But... anyways. I remember random details. Joel like talked a little and then he sat behind Tiffany and me when we were watching the vid and it was basically just... about GC, I guess. And it showed Benji with a lot of soccer balls and playing soccer for some reason O_o And... I forget what was up with Joel in the video, even though his part came before Benji. I wasn't really paying attention, I kept like shifting in my seat to try to see Joel behind us. And... that was kind of it. There was a little more, but I don't remember it. It was cool though. I mean, how cool in real life would that be? Joel from GC interrupting your English or Global or Geometry or whatever class and showing a video about Good Charlotte? That'd be awesome, man.


So... that's it. The wait til the concert is going to drag by so slowly. Luckily it's next week, so I won't have to wait too long. Bwah, this is so awesome.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

So, you know that little private GC concert that KROQ has been giving tickets away to that Tiffany, Adri, Annie, Jackie, and I have been calling in for? You know, funny thing. I was the 20th caller.


OMFG I'M GOING TO A PRIVATE GC CONCERT THIS IS AMAZING OMFG I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS OMFG THIS IS SO AMAZING OMFGOMFGOMFG I CAN'T BELIEEEEVE THIS THIS IS SOOOOO AWESOME MAN A PRIVATE GC CONCERT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW AMAZING THIS IS OMFG THE CONCERT IN JUNE? FUCKING AWESOME. AND THAT WAS WITH THOUSANDS OF SCREAMING TEENAGERS. THIS IS GOING TO BE LIKE... 100 PEOPLE. PRIVATE GC CONCERT. THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.


Ahem. Am I excited? Oh, a little. ;) The location is a SECRET SO YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT OUT OF MEEEEE!!! ...well also because of the fact that they haven't TOLD me yet... BUT THEY WILL. It's coming in the mail with the tickets!


Ha I sounded so stupid on the radio. I was so excited but I was trying not to be all teeny-ish and... yeah, he was all "SOUND EXCITED!" and I was all "...I'm internally excited" I think I should've said I was in shock, because I was. He's all "Well I had an internal orgasm yesterday, WAKE UP" or something. Haha I see why it's so easy to come off as an idiot on the radio. I mean, it's like RIGHT when you find out you've won, and yeah. Trying not to sound too excited makes you sound... bored. And stupid. But that's ok. I'd rather sound stupid on the radio then not go to this concert.


OMFG I'M GOING TO A PRIVATE GC CONCERT. THIS IS AMAZING! GOD AND I'LL ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO SEE THEM PERFORM AND EVERYTHING SINCE... LIKE, SO FEW PEOPLE! THIS IS AMAZING! Aaaaaaaaaaand I talked to my mom and I'm all "Dude, I'm doing WHATEVER it takes to see them... I don't CARE if it's in Malibu, I'M GOING" and... yeah. She said "All right, we'll... work things out. Even if it's in Malibu." Ionno why she thinks it's there... it could be at like Hunington Beach or Newport Beach or something. And she's being all pessimistic. DON'T BRING ME DOWN, MAN! I JUST WON PRIVATE GC CONCERT TICKETS! THIS IS A GOOD THING!


I'M GOING TO SEE GC LIVE WITH ONLY 100 OTHER PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, I haven't posted at all today o___o. Amazing. Anyways.


I was caller 11 on the KROQ thing. So close! Only 9 away from the right one! Tiffany got 3. Pshaw, 11 is closer ;) Anyways. It means we're... well, we're closer! And we still have 2 more times tonight and three more days! There's still a chance! *snort* Yeah, right. I doubt we'll win. But that's ok. My mom's even letting me bring my cell phone and the radio out when we garden so I can call. She's all... supportive-ish. Well, plus, you're more likely to win in the morning because a lot of people are at work/summer school/sleeping in.


I really don't have anything else to say except... the people on Tiffany's tag-board are pissing me off. Dude, you don't like GC? That's fine. I really could care less. But saying how crappy they are on her tag-board constantly is NOT GOING TO CHANGE EITHER OF OUR MINDS ABOUT GC. GOD. JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE A BAND, DOESN'T MAKE THEM CRAP. So shut the fuck up because we don't fucking care. You can ban him from your tag-board, Tiffany. I definitely would if I were you.

Monday, July 28, 2003

Ahh yay, thank you to Annie, Jackie, and Adri who are helping Tiffany and I win the tickets. It means a lot, and it'll mean even more if we actually win ;) We still have four days!!! And again, you want to help, just IM me and I'll give you the number and tell you when to call.


Made another blend. :) Submitted. Don't like how the big Holly pic came out. The picture wasn't that great quality, though. Oh well. Um, yes. Winners on another blend site will be announced tomorrow. Hopefully I'll win some more awards! :) And hopefully I'll win those tickets.

Look above. That's right, I got this little thingy that tells you what KROQ is playing right now. Why? Well because, for one thing, I'm never getting that form to work, so I might as well put something in its place. Also... I feel like it. And it's my blog, so I'll put whatever the fuck I want on it!


THE PEOPLE WHO ARE WINNING THE TICKETS PISS ME OFF! I mean the last one was all "So did I win tickets to that... summer beachhouse thing?"
FTW?!?!? IT'S NOT A SUMMER BEACH HOUSE THING! IT'S A PRIVATE GC CONCERT! YES IT'S ON THE BEACH, BUT NEVER WAS A BEACHHOUSE MENTIONED! GOD I got the feeling that she didn't even know what she'd won. x.x I. HATE. HER. sigh.


Bwah, thanks for the support Annie and Adri! Dude if anyone wants to help that doesn't want the tickets for themselves... just let me know. I'll give you the number and tell you when to call if you don't have an accessible radio. It'd mean a lot to me, man. :) [BWAH DUDE AND MAN IN 3 SENTENCES! Ahem. Anywas]

OMFG I'M SO PISSED OFF AT THIS PERSON ok. This person called in at KROQ for the tickets for the GC thing, right? And they had her on the air. And the DJ was all "Are you a big fan of Good Charlotte?" and she's all "Oh yeah, totally!" and he's all "Ok, prove it. List... 4 of their songs." That's so incredibly easy. Even if you only knew the single titles. You know what she said? "...uh... Anthem... I mean... the Anthem. Uh.... uh...." and he was all "I'm hanging up" and she's all "NO DON'T WAIT I CAN DO THIS! uh.... mom do you know 3 GC songs...?" and then they went to a song so ionno if she got the tickets anyways but OMFG I CAN LIST EVERY SINGLE SONG ON BOTH CDS WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING AT THEM OMFG I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT x.x I really want those tickets... I need to stop obsessing over them. I mean, I don't realisitically thing I'm going to get them, but.. it'd be so awesome if I could. Damn these fucking people who don't even know 4 GC songs!!! x.x

*blink* For some reason the link forwards me back to blogger.com... I have no idea why. Anyways, here's the direct link: http://www.freewebs.com/charmedwillow/bb-29-michi.jpg


If you care, just copy and paste that. Anyways.

Made another blend. What a surprise ;) Accidentally saved it as a .jpg bleh so it's not as good quality. But it's all right.


No gardening tomorrow! *cheers*


You know, all weekend on KROQ they were like... advertising for the Kevin and Bean in the morning show on KROQ and they said they'd reveal details about a private beach party/concert thing with a KROQ band (well not a KROQ band, but you know what I mean by that. And if you don't... just forget about it). I instantly thought "GOOD CHARLOTTE!" but then was all "pshaw, yeah right. I don't even think they like GC... they diss them a lot (the DJ's do)". I woke up around 7 this morning to watch ATR and then I returned to my room to go read TWOP recaps until gardening. Well, they revealed the band that would be giving the private concert. Oh come on, if you don't know who it is by now, then you need... a brain. Or you need to be awake.


Yes, that's right. It was indeed Good Charlotte. Every hour they're giving away tickets to see the private GC concert on some beach. I talked to my mom and mentioned it casually and she started asking like "Where is it?" and I said "...ionno. It's a secret. Some beach." And then she asked "When?" and I said "...I have no idea. IT'S A SECRET." And then she said "I'm just asking cuz it'd be awful if you got the tickets and couldn't go because it was like the first day of school or something." I was all "o_____O You mean I can call in?" and she was all "You might as well try."


My sentiments exactly. So anyways. I'll be listening to KROQ as much as I can and calling in on my cell phone (my mom doesn't want me to tie up the phoneline) even though I know I won't win it. I mean... seriously. Who wins things like this? No one I know. Well, I take that back. One time, back when I listened to Radio Disney (meaning back like... in third grade... second grade) they were having this contest where you guessed this riddle thing and then you won some prize. I called in to request a song and I was actually the right caller or something. There were all "Aren't you calling about the riddle?" and I was like "...what riddle? I just want to request a song..." and they started arguing and were all "NO! THE RIDDLE! WITH THE DUCK AND THE PUDDLES AND AND YOUR'E CALLING ABOUT THE RIDDLE!" "...nooo... I just wanted to request--" "YES YOU ARE YOU LIEEEE!" and such. I didn't answer the riddle though because I had no idea what they were talking about and didn't even know the answer to the riddle.


But that doesn't count because I wasn't even trying to win anything. When you actually try, it doesn't work. Sigh. But still, it'd be awesome to win. Let me hold onto my small bit of hope... No, actually don't. Because if I get all hopeful, then I'll be all sad when the week is over and I haven't won. The way I see it is I never had it, so if I don't get it, I haven't lost anything. I'm just looking to gain. If I don't gain anything, then I'm back where I was yesterday; bored in my room making blends and listening to the radio. And there's nothing wrong with that.


Bwah they're all "Well we're talking about them all week, we might as well play their song" and now they're playing Girls and Boys. Shhh it amuzzled me.


Anyways. So that's what I'll be doing all week, in addition to making blends and reading recaps. Boy, aren't I a busy girl? No? That's what I thought.

Sunday, July 27, 2003

Bwah! This made me laugh so much: "Added 1 blend already from Michelle. She's like me - refreshing my fav blend sites every hour to see if there's a new challenge lol. ;)"


That is so true. That's what I practically do all day... every hour or so (ok, maybe closer to every 10 minutes...) I refresh all the blend site I love and see if there's anything new. That made me laugh soooo much reading it. Anyways. She already posted the winners up to the "Clean and Sober" challenge, the one I said that I really didn't expect any award at all. Guess what? I WON AN AWARD! Didn't see that coming. I won "Beautiful" blend. She said: "I had to give her an award. I just had to. I loved how she made it all blue except for the 2 larger images which made the blend stand out. I loved the text because that was my fav. quote of the episode along with what he said about Jack lol. Although I'm not sure why some of their faces are green :-/ Anyway, good job Michelle."


Yeah, the faces were green because I didn't like... put the colorization on all the way, I did it with a layer that was like... 40% opaque and then used a hard light thing and... basically, the more yellowish of the faces turned out more greenish. Anyways. I am verrrry happy about winning this award, especially with all the other beautiful ones in the challenge.


Soooo out of two challenges? I've won two awards! I think that's a very good record ;) And I'm glad that I got the award I did because (blah, egotistical), I really do think that this blend is... beautiful. To me, anyways. It just like... I like staring at my blends a lot just so I can like see things I did wrong and improve on them in the next blends and like to see the good points and such and... I really really love staring at this one. Anyways.


You know what's a good mood-lifter? WINNING AWARDS FOR BLENDS! Anyways. I'm gonna like... go and make more blends! :D Graphic-making is awesome, man.

Have you noticed that now the only time I blog is when I want to show off a new blend? Yeah, anyways. That I made for a Dawson's Creek series finale DVD cover. Mmm I can't wait til that comes out in September. I hope they sell it at FYE so I can buy it. WHAT? IT HAS THE CUT SCENES IN IT! MORE PACEY/JOEY! You do realize that is the only reason I'm addicted to it, right? Joshua Jackson was the only person that show that made me want to watch it. He was the best actor on the show, hands down. Well, I have to admit, Michelle Williams was amazing too. Especially with the series finale. Plus, she wasn't given much to work with, and she did wonderfully with what she was given. Katie Holmes wasn't that horrid either. She was pretty good and did have some shining moments. And Kerr Smith. Notice how I don't mention a certain... actor whose character the show is titled after. *snort* Anyways. Um, yes. Point? Pacey/Joey is the ONLY reason I continued to watch that show. I gave up on it after season 5 until I found out about Castaways. *sigh* A full hour of all Pacey/Joey. No Dawson. Heaven. Plus, the termination of that horrible beard. Bwah.

...I should stop ranting, because I can go on with this. Point being, the finale was amazing, I want to get it when it comes out in September. Anyways. The only way I'll be able to get it, though, is if they sell it at FYE. Well, I mean that is a possibility. After all, I got S1 Angel DVD there. And S1 Buffy DVD. And I believe they sell the S3 Buffy DVD there. And I've seen Friends DVDs there too. So... it could happen.


*goes back to making blends*

This time I did an add effects challenge. That means the person makes a blend of 2 or more pictures, and then I add effects. I really like how the blend turned out. I have no idea if I'll place or not, but I think it's pretty good, so *shrug* Anyways, that's 3 blends from today, and I did 3 yesterday (though one wasn't for a challenge) so... I'm not sure what that means. Just saying.

Yet another blend submitted. This time it was for a Dawson's Creek episode, "Clean and Sober". Shut up. It was a good episode. Pacey and Joey! Anyways. This one I'm like... ok. I really like this blend. In fact, it's one of my favorites of the ones I've made the past few days. However, I am really not expecting to win anything since all the other blends are PHENOMONAL and because mine isn't that original. Still, I liked it, so I decided to submit it anyways. When I made it, I wasn't even planning on submitting it, but I thought it turned out a lot better than I expected, so... submitted. I'm actually not even sure if it'll be included in the challenge. The first time I submitted it I accidentally forgot to the link :$:$:$ I submitted it again but... yeah. I just feel really stupid, even though I know it can't be the first time it's happened. But anywyas.


Blah. The challenge that I'm obsessing over most isn't even over until Wednesday. I think I'm going to blow up.


I watched I Will Remember You, like I said I would. Oh my fucking god. I forgot how amazing that episode was. By the end, I was crying because... god, it's so sad. The ending is just... wow. And... SMG and DB did a really great job of the scene where Buffy finds out Angel had the oracles turn back time. It's so sad... "No, there's not enough time, there's not enough time! ...I'll never forget." and such. So sad. So amazing. Sigh. I reeeeally wish I had S2 Buffy DVD... then I could watch Becoming Part 2 over and over. I miss not having sound on my computer x.x I've already seen it like... a lot.. but still. I miss it. Sigh.

Yet another blend. I'm obsessed. Blah. I submitted this one to the site that I submitted the earlier Buffy one.


Random: wheeee Girls and Boys on KROQ! =)


Anyways. Bored. Nothing to do today. My parents are going to the spectrum. Is that allowed? O_o;;; At least I have the house to myself for a few hours. But, it's not like that helps me in any way. There's nothing to do at home that I can't already do while my parents are home. Maybe watch the Angel DVD I bought last February and have only watched a little of. Yeah, that's a plan. I haven't seen I Will Remember You in ages since my speakers stopped working. What's the use of downloading really great Buffy and Angel episodes if you can't even hear them? *sigh* Bwah, everyone wants to make blends/graphics now! Well, ok, not everyone. But I know Tiffany really wants to, and Jackie said she wanted to (...I think) and... well Annie already knows how, actually. But that's ok. And to me, that's everyone. Cuz... three people are a lot. Yes.


Um yes. Nothing more to say. I'll probably go back to finding blend challenges I want to do and making more blends. Go me.

Saturday, July 26, 2003

Mmk, made another blend. This one was for a challenge, for the episode "Assassins", from Felicity. Anyways. Here it is. This time all the other blends... damn, they're fucking amazing. And I'm not being all humble... they're just all breathtaking. I really don't expect a single award but *shrug* I have to try. Besides, it's fun to make blends.

I made a blend for fun. It's not going to be submitted anywhere. View it if you like. It's all right, I didn't do too many effects to it. I tend to go brush crazy after awhile, but this time... I only used 2 brushes, the stars by the name. Anyways. Again, it's all right, but it's not the best I've ever done.

Blah, I'm obsessing. I keep staring at the entries page, trying to figure out which blends so far I think are going to win what. I'M OBSESSING. This is not good. Go on over here and go to entries and see what I'm up against. Sigh. I NEED TO STOP OBSESSING OVER THIS! THE CHALLENGE ISN'T EVEN OVER UNTIL WEDNESDAY! WINNERS WILL BE ANNOUNCED EVEN LATER AFTER THAT! THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.

Sigh. And I can't find any other good challenges I want to enter. Blah. This is evil.


OOOOH HEY1 I finally got the poster from that site that caused my mom's credit card info to go all over the site! It's awesome, man. ;) It's super cool. [Yes, that was for you, Tiffany ;) SUPER] Um, yes. Anyways. I'm putting it on my mirror, but it'll probably travel up to my ceiling soon. I'm running out of wall space.

The spectrum was fun, as always. And next week, JACKIE CAN ACTUALLY GO! *gasp* IMAGINE THAT!!! If you want to go then just like... tell me cuz... yeah. I'm too lazy to invite people that I don't talk with on a regular basis.


Mmm I want to make more blends. I'm becoming obsessed. But hey, that's ok. The more blends I make, the more chance I have to win stuff! Right? Wrong. BUT THAT'S OK. Anyways.


Uh, I have nothing else to say. But that's ok. I'mma go make more blends now and be all obsessed :)

Blah. I entered another blend challenge :$ I have no idea if I'll place at all. The blends submitted are pretty good, but then there's until Wednesday for more blends to be submitted, so... who knows. This is partially a test to see if the image hoster I'm using allows hotlinking, and partially showing off the blend I made for this challenge:


Edit: Allows offsite linking/hotlinking as far as I can tell, so yay. However, I took it out of the direct image code thing because it's bigger than the space of my blog. So, link! View my blend :D

Friday, July 25, 2003

Blah. My form isn't working. I'M DOING MY BEST HERE, PEOPLE. Sigh. I'll work on it. ...not tonight, though. Tomorrow. Maybe Sunday. I don't have the energy to figure it out now.

Lookie what I added! A question form. Yeah, yeah, no one has any questions for me, well BAH I don't care. If you have something to ask about me or... anything, just ask! And... I'll probably answer. However, I reserve the right not to answer any question I find rude or inappropriate. Anyways. Ask away! =)

Mmk, I got a new e-mail. So, if you want to send me an e-mail for some reason, send it off to blurry_dreams@hotmail.com. And... that's about it. I'm really bored now, but I just wanted to share that. Anyways.

I was bored and made this:





I actually really like it. I'm thinking of making my next layout something like that, featuring Willow/Alyson Hannigan. Tell me in my tag-board what you think. If this is going to be in my next layout, the layout will be totally designed by me, which means it will be a long while before it's up because I have a lot to learn about making layouts and how to put them up and stuff. But... yeah. Thats ok, since I love the layout I have right now. Anywyas. Basically? Tell me what you think.

Wow. I spent all day reading Ender's Game and I finally finished. It's just a fucking awesome book. The end was a little confusing, but I like to read books twice when I first get them. You catch things you didn't the first time, and I have a feeling I'll understand the book better. But anyways, it's a really great book and I highly reccomend it. There were a lot of things that I was like "...oh, I should have so seen that coming..." and stuff. Great book. Read it.


Aaaand... now? I'm bored. I guess I can go back to reading recaps. I haven't even read a full recap today, and usually I managed to finish roughly 22.


I'm kind of... sad that I finished the book. I don't know, I'm weird that way. It's just... it hooked me and I kept reading to get to the ending but now that it's finally ended... I don't want it to. I want it to continue. Am I making any sense? Probably not, but hey, that's ok.

So, I started reading Ender's Game.


I was right.


Damn, this is a fucking good book. I'm completely hooked. I definitely reccomend this book to anyone that has it as a choice of the summer reading thing for 9th grade (well, if they like science fiction/fantasy) because it is awesome. It's like something I would read on my own time, not something for school. It actually reminds me a bit of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, in a few small ways. Awesome book.


Anyways. I need to go back to my recaps and to Ender's Game, but I just thought I'd share that this is an awesome book.

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Ok. I just want to put out this because I keep reading it everywhere. Atheism? IS NOT A RELIGION.


Religion is defined as: "any specific system of belief about deity, often involving rituals, a code of ethics, and a philosophy of life."


Atheism is a defined as: "a lack of belief in any god or gods."


Those two? Different. Atheism is the opposite of a specific system of belief about a deity. Atheists have no rituals. Atheism itself presents no code of ethics (atheists themselves create their own codes of ethics and follow their own beliefs about what's moral and right and such. However, atheism has nothing to do with that). Atheism presents no philosophy of life.


Atheism? Not a religion. Case closed.

You know, I just wanted to say that I'm very proud of Tiffany right now. She's like... planning on learning about as many religions as possible this summer and then deciding in which one she believes in. I think that everyone should do that in their life. I mean, even if you're a strong believer in say, Christianity, how could it hurt to find out more about other religions? And even if you decide that you still want to followe the religion you started off with, you'll know more about the world and in general, and you'll... well, you'll know more about why you follow that religion rather than the other religions. I think it's a very wise thing to do, and it's actually what I'm doing now. I mean, I doubt that I'll suddenly decide that I want to follow Islam or Catholicism or whatever, but I would like to learn more about different religions. It strengthens me as an atheist, in a way, because I'm... this sounds weird, but I'm learning more about what I don't believe in. It helps me... I don't know. Support why I don't believe in those things? Plus, it is interesting. Just all the captalized he's and god's get really annoying after awhile. Yeah yeah respect yadda yadda, it just annoys me. I already know a lot about Wicca (I studied it all last summer) and atheism (although that's not a religions, but I suppose I'm going to include learning about non-religions as well), but I'm looking forward to finding out more. Anyways. That's all for now.

Wowee, Jackie posted right after I finished my last entry. Oh, it wasn't in response to me, but I'm going to reply anyways because that's what I'm like.


"AND BESIDES, THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART. i'M CHRISTIAN BECAUSE I BELIEVE GOD? NO, THAT'S NOT ALL OF IT. i'M THERE FOR THE ETHICS. OH FUCK, DOES ATHEISM GIVE YOU ETHICS? ATHEISM GIVE YOU THE BELIEF THAT YOU DONT NEED ANY ETHICS. THAT YOU DONT NEED RELIGION."


No, atheism in itself doesn't give you ethics. It's your own reponsibility for being a good person. However, not believe that doing good during your life will send you to heaven when you die doesn't mean that you're going to say "Screw it, I'm going to be a bad person and all." Religion doesn't necessarily give you ethics or make you a good person anyways. The terrorists that crashed planes into the WTC buildings sure believed in a religion strongly. Didn't make what they did right.


Off the subject. You're right. Atheism does not give you ethics. That's because it's not a religion. It just describes... your lack of belief in god. But just because it doesn't give you ethics, doesn't mean you don't have them. Besides, I'd rather be an atheist who does good and has good morals because I believe in being a good person rather than being a Christian and following the morals and ethics just because I want to go to heaven. *shrug* But hey, that's just me.


"What do people do as atheists?

They prolly do good. THey could be ethical. But they never have a set of rules. set of conduct. atheists is like... cool cuz you're free or something? Free of everything? I think you're supposed to wait until you're dead to be like that. "


I'm generalizing majorly here, but we don't do anything different than Christians. Jackie, I'd say that I'm a lot like you, wouldn't you? I mean, while I don't go to church or believe in god, we both do well in school (...for the most part), we both are, in general, good people. We don't steal, do drugs, kill people, or anything wrong like that. Not having a religion doesn't mean you have no values or rules. It just means you have your own values and rules. Atheism doesn't make me happy because I'm free, it makes me happy because I don't have to do things just because religion tells me to. I can be a good person because I want to be a good person, not because I'm afraid that I'll be sent to hell if I'm not.


"Second of all. Your site about atheism. What the hell was that about CHristians being satanists? Yes, we believe satan exists. But so do everybody. Satan's not a form. they're inner demons. Name one person who's never been cajoled into do something stupid and bad."


The site was just defending against the belief that atheists are satanists. He was saying that Christians are more so because they believe in Satan (although they don't follow him) while atheists view him like they do god; an imaginary figure.


"and finally? You said, 'religion might be just there to make you stronger'

..question: what the hell is wrong with making yourself stronger?"


There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. That's one of the reasons that I respect people's religions. If you want to believe in something to make you stronger, than that's absolutely fine with me. However, I don't need a god or religion to make myself stronger. I'll be stronger through myself. I'm not going to rely on a god/religion to make me stronger. I'm going to be strong because... that's who I am as a person.


Ok, so I'm done. I just wanted to refute some stuff you said, Jackie. And again, I mean it in no way offensive, I'm just saying what I believe, just as you are. Anyways.

Ok, I'm writing this after reading Jackie's latest two posts on her Xanga. First of all Jackie, while I don't believe in god and I'm not Christian, I do respect you for believing what you do and I'm not knocking you for it at all. And I'm not trying to do this in a mean way or anything, not at all. And... well, I can't speak for Tiffany about her beliefs because I really don't know what she believes, only she does. However, I can defend my beliefs (or lack thereof) myself.


Why am I an atheist? Tough question to answer. I guess it starts with how I was brought up. My parents were Christian but they never once took me to a church service. They basically let me grow up believing what I wanted. They didn't tell me that there was a god, but they didn't tell me that there wasn't either. I grew up saying I was Christian, just because it was easy. However, I soon realized that I was the only Christian (that I knew of at that point... I'm not saying that there aren't any others) that didn't go to church. I also came to realize that I really didn't believe in god or any afterlife of any sort. To me, the idea of god was like the idea of Santa Clause. Both seemed to me just to be supernatural and made up figures. I'm sorry if that's insulting to anyone who does believe in god/s, but that's just how I felt. I then saw that to be Christian, believing in god is basically necessary. So, I decided that I shouldn't be calling myself a Christian anymore because I definitely wasn't. I didn't change who I was by saying that I was an atheist, or my beliefs. I just changed the label.


I'm a very... logic person, in a sense. I don't believe in things such as fairies, magic, the supernatural, or anything mystical. I like scientific evidence and facts. I'm not even sure if this is making sense, but... god just doesn't seem real to me. Now, while I'm an atheist, I'm also agnostic. Someone who's agnostic believes that we can't prove or disprove if there's a god at this time. I don't believe that I can disprove there is any god/s at this point of time, but I, personally, do not believe there is.


It's not a matter of faith with me. It's just... never been something real to me. Children are born atheists. If you don't believe me, think about it. They are born with no religion, no faith, no beliefs. Their parents teach them whatever they believe in, however, and that's how they grow up. Religion has a lot to do with what family you're born into or geographically where you're born. My parents never enforced any religion on me. They let me make my own decisions, and I am incredibly grateful for that, you have no idea. And I realized that after learning about different religions, they just didn't make that much sense to me, or that I didn't believe what they were teaching. While some points I agree with, I do not believe that there is a higher being than us. People way before us credited things that now can be explained scientifically to god. I have a feeling that in the years to come, more and more will be explained and there will be more atheists and less theists (believe in god/s).


Let's get back to faith. Like I said, faith in god... not having any faith in there being a god hasn't made me lose all faith. I have faith in people, I have faith in all my friends. I have not lost all faith. Faith has nothing to do with me being an atheist.


Um, yeah. Ok. Now I'm going to go more at a personal level with you, Jackie. I just have to say that... I think it's kind of harsh saying that Tiffany's only changing her beliefs because of her friends. I don't know what's going on in Tiffany's mind (well actually, I do sometimes... hehe. Twin thing) and so for all I know, she may be. But I think that she's just trying to figure out what she believes. I've been talking to her about religion and atheism a little (no, not brainwashing her, and not influencing her beliefs as far as I know) and what she believes now seems to have less to do with whatever conversation she had at the sleepover (although I could be wrong... and I do think that it might have sparked it) and more about what she's finding out. At the end of this, she might go back and say "You know what, I believe that there is a god, and I'm am going to continue to go to church and pray and be a faithful Christian" or whatever. Or, she could say "Seeing all this... I don't believe there is a god" and such. I don't know. And I don't know where I'm going with this. I just want to say... I don't think you should judge that because... well, to me, she honestly doesn't seem to be doing this because of friends but because of her and what she believes.


Ok, I'm done. And that wasn't meant insultful or rude or harsh in any way at all towards you, Jackie. Other people... start discussing it in your blogs (well, if you want) because... I want to see what other people think. :) *goes back to recaps*

I finished Night today. It's actually not that bad, if you can get through the beginning. Plus, it's short, so I'd reccomend it as one of the two books to read before going to high school.


Jackie, your Xanga isn't working for me. It like... just comes up a completely blank page. *shrug* Just thought I'd mention that.


Hrm. What else? Well, I'm starting Ender's Game now, but since I haven't actually started it yet, I have nothing to say about it. Um, in my excitement last night I forgot that I actually already have entered another blend challenge. Of course, I've seen the entries for that one, and they're fantabulous... so I doubt I'll win anything. Then again, I thought that about the last challenge, so *shrug* I'll see.


No gardening this morning! Woohoo! Unfortunately, I have it tomorrow, but then it's Saturday and Sunday, and none then. Oooh, spectrum Saturday 1-5, tell me if you can come :)


They had a top 10 like funniest videos on TRL and GC was #4 with Girls and Boys. I was happy. Hey, if they're gonna mess with the countdown, I'll be happier if they still play Girls and Boys. Did that make any sense? I can't word things correctly. Whatever, I know what I meant. Plus, they played "In Too Deep" by Sum 41, which is a great vid. Oh and the... grrrr I forgot what it's called! Bad me! It's by Offspring, and it probably something like "Pretty Fly for a white guy". Oooh you know what I'm talking about. "Uno dos tres quatro cinqo cinqo seis." I think seis is spelled wrong. But then, I'm in French, not Spanish, so I don't need to know how to spell the spanish word for six. Pshaw, the French one is easier. It's six. Although pronounced sees. ...off topic. I do that a lot.


Anyhoo. Actually, nothing more to say. My room is very hot. I would like to get a water bottle. So I will go do that and continue reading recaps.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Oh. My. Fucking. God.


I make blends sometimes just for fun. I finally decided to submit one to a blend challenge site.


I won bronze.


OMFG I WON BRONZE THIS IS SO EXCITING YAY OMFG I'M SO HAPPY. Multiply times 1000.


If you want to see the blend I made, IM me.


My god. *shakes head* I can't believe this. I really wasn't expecting to get any placing at all but... bronze. Wow. And the blends that got gold and silver? Fucking amazing. I'm like... really honored to get bronze. Wow. *in a state of happy shock* I think I'm going to enter more blend challenges... seroiusly I'm like... on a super amazing feel-good high. Eeee. Anyways. I need to stop typing because it's loud and my mom might hear so... I'm going to go. *waves* Wow. Bronze. Just... wow.

Wheee taking the survey in Adri's blog! I will make my own someday. However, that day is not today.


fun questions!
what's the best type of canned drink? Pepsi!
how regularly do you clip your toenails? Uh... never? I tear at them. It's a bad habit.
what experience makes you drunk? Uh... *blink* Huh? I know that being around Tiffany makes me be all drunkish and high...
what's the best city in ragnarok? Don't play. But I'll substitute ragnarok for runescape! In that case... blah. I don't even remember the city names. Varrock?
what instrument have you been wanting to play but never taken up seriously? Hrm. Saxophone. Flute. Drums.
what do you do during a boring class? Sing songs in my head, write in the RnB (if possible), doodle
what was the last dream you had? Last night I had this dream that I know Joel was in somehow. Then there was this other part that I'd rather not mention not because like... anything ewwwie, just because it brings up bad memories and bad feelings that I'd rather not... bring up. And there was stuff with high school too.
what is your earliest memory? In Scotland, driving on windy roads and barfing on the ground of the car. Fun, eh? Scotland is pretty much my earliest memory. I was... 2, I believe.
which is your least favorite memory that has happened to you in the last few months? Ummm. I've actually had a pretty great few months. I guess my dad going to these AA meetings. It's good that he's dealing with it and that he's pretty much done with it, as far as I know, but the fact that he needs to go in the first place... I don't like.
and your favorite? Oh, you make this too easy. Except... I have two that I can't choose between. Oh, you so know what I'm going to say. Yesss, Warped Tour and Civic Tour. I guess Warped was a bit better because more bands and because we actually got to meet Simple Plan, get pics, get autographs, etc.
what's the best color combination known to man? Black and... black. *snort* Um... denim and darkish red looks really good.
your favorite symbol or shape? Symbol: triquetra. Shape: uh... circle? I guess.
at what age were you most attractive? At around 4. I was an adorable 4-year old.
have you ever gone into the shower and realized you were still wearing an article of clothing, like socks? Do glasses count? Cuz I've done that a lot. On the weekends when I'm not going anywhere, I don't bother with putting on contacts and sometimes when I take a shower I'll forget to take my glasses off.
what's your favorite part of your ear? The lobe.
at what angle and side of the head should baseball caps be worn? Slightly to the side. Front is fine too. I guess it depends on who it is. *think about Joel* Ummm I didn't say that. And... I guess slightly to the side.


word association!
ape: monkey
star: Saturn
bow: arrow
denim: jacket
pavement: skateboard
carrot: rabbit
modest: humble
black: gooood
latchkey: kid
fingernail: nail
mayo: maya


My own survey will... come eventually. Maybe. If I feel like it.

Bwahahahaha Tiffany's now looking at stuff about atheism on the internet. I have spread the... well, whatever it is. ...anyways. Yeah.


I'm fiiiinally getting into Night. It's better than it was at the beginning. I think that the beginning dragged on a little. I don't like the first chapter at all, I can barely read through it without ripping out my hair. However, now the main character is finally at the concentration camp, and so things get more interesting. And that kind of sounds bad, and I only mean it in the way that reading about concentration camps and what occurred and shit interests me. I think it was one of the most horrible things in history, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's good. You don't have to approve of something to be interested in learning about it, basically. WWII in general really interests me. It's the only part of U.S. history that I enjoy, actually. I tend to like the medieval time period a lot more. Ancient Greeks and Romans and shit. Pre-U.S. Anyways. I'm just saying that I'm finally able to sit down and read the book without wanting to rip it to pieces. I'll be done with it probably by tomorrow. Then it's on to Ender's Game, which (yes, I've said this 100 times now, but that's ok) I have a feeling I'll like a lot more.


You know how my feelings about high school fluctuate? Well mine just went down. You know how I've been reading the recaps of Felicity. Well, there was just a mention in one of them about how the character had to write an essay on Great Expectations exploring the themes in depth or something. I just... freaked reading that. I don't want to have to write essays exploring themes. I don't want to have to deal with any themes at all. Reading that, I was like "WHY DOES HE HAVE TO EXPLORE THEM?! WHY CAN'T HE JUST LET THEM STAY THE WAY THEY ARE IN THE BOOK? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO GO ALL IN DEPTH? HE READ IT, THAT'S ENOUGH! NO EXPLORING OF THEMES! DIEEE!" and such. Blah. I hate essays. Snort, like anyone really loves them. Still... dread. Fear. Essays are going to be the end of me x.x

Boring morning, but it started off well. On video clash (I have about half an hour to watch it in the morning before gardening) Girls and Boys was up and it won, so I got to see the whole video which started me off happy. Eyebrow tweetch! Anyways. I really wanted to write while gardening, and I still sort of want to. I might actually get around to finishing the first part of my newest fic tonight.


Grrr I don't want to finish Night right now. It's pissing me off. I can't sit through it. I'm going to try once more to read it and if I have the urge to rip the book to shreds, I'm switching to Ender's Game. It's definitely more my type of book.


Tiffany: THE THING ABOUT GC BEING ON THE AMERICAN WEDDING SOUNDTRACK WAS UP AT GCCIRCLEPITT LIKE... MONTHS AGO! THEY TOLD YOU!!!! You just happen to have a really horrible memory. :) But... THEY DID TELL YOU. And... GET A'S.


Stayed up til 12 last night. I actually fell asleep very quickly, which is good. I'm less tired today, which is also good, and my headache has diminished.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

*snort* Go head on over here. That was kind of cool, until I realized the completely obvious... well, trick. Bah, go over and see if you can figure out what the trick behind it is. It's kind of like "...how the hell did I not see that?" when you figure it out. Anyways. If you want to know the trick, IM me. That is, if you really really care. Which I don't think you do. So *shrug* just thought I'd share that with ya. I'm so fucking bored. Blah.

Bah. I'm exhausted and I have been all day... but... I really don't want to go to sleep at 11. I want to stay up and read recaps (moved on to Felicity) and... yeah. The only part I don't like about staying up (besides the exhaustion) is that every single creak I make sounds 1000 times louder than it does right now, and I'm so worried my parents are going to hear and like come in my room and find me at midnight reading recaps on the computer. Sigh. But I doubt that'll stop me. Last night I stayed up until 1:30. They play a lot of good music between 12-1:30 from Monday-Thursday. They played Less Than Jake, Rancid, etc., as well as Girls and Boys! Whee! Anyways.

I can't look people in the eye.


I really don't know why. I mean, I love eyes. That sounded... odd. What I meant, was that eyes... I don't know! They're very attractive. Or at least, they can be. I LIKE EYES, OK. Anyways. When I'm talking to someone, though, I like.. can't look them in the eye. I don't know why, it's really weird, but it gets uncomfortable after a little while... it's just a weird... thing of mine. Watch where I'm looking next time I talk to you and see how much I look you in the eyes. I don't. *shrug* I'm weird like that.


Another thing. I like... I can't correct people. I always feel sooo guilty when I correct people when they've made a mistake. I have no idea why. I remember when I was 3 I needed a new toothbrush, so when my mom went to the store she went off to get me a toothbrush and when she came back to the cart, it was the wrong one. I told her that I actually wanted so-and-so kind. For some reason, I remember feeling really guilty about that. Why the hell should I feel guilty about that? It's a toothbrush! And it's one my mom is paying for. If my mom's going to buy me a toothbrush, she's going to want to make sure what she's spending her money on is something I actually want. And she's my mom; she wants me to be happy. She's not going to be mad if I decide that a different toothbrush would make me happier than the one she got me! Blah, I'm so messed up. But... seriously. I really can't correct people. And if I do manage to, I feel... guilty. For no reason. I'm a weird person, man.

Stole a survey because I'm bored :)


AT THE MOMENT
1. name: Michelle
2. nicknames: None really, sometimes Michi
3. feet size: 8 1/2, sometimes 9 if the shoe-maker company is eeevil.
4. do you have a crush?: Joel-- *cough* Nooooo... no seriously, I don't. Right now, I'm obsessing over music, not boys. And the whole Joel thing there? Well... I was about to say it was a joke but... x.x Shut up. Not a teenie. But... the facial expressions! EYEBROW TWEETCH READY TO ROCK (except he didn't say that but EYEBROWS) and... sigh. What? I'm going off topic? Fine. Point? No real-life crushes.
5. boy/girlfriend?: *snort* I can hear some of my friends' answers... "No. But I do have a few husbands. Female husbands." Oh, but me? Nope.
6. age you act: Sometimes I can be really... teenagerish (...mostly when I'm with Tiffany and obsessing liking-ful-a-lot-ness-ing over bands...) and other times I can be... pretty damn mature. *shrug* Somewhere between 14 and 54.
7. where do you live?: In a house. Next question!
8. where do you want to live?: France, someday. England. And most of all? CANADA!
9. birthplace: In a hospital
10. ever gone skinny dipping?: ...no... o_O
11. favorite movie: Fly Away Home. Yes it's a Disney movie. Shut up. I have my reasons.
12. favorite saying: "Let's go!" *snerk* Oh, um, and... "I shat in my di-ty!" And... no. Stopping here.
13. favorite fast food: ...burgers?
14. favorite ice cream: Chocolate
15. favorite alcoholic drink: A? Underage. B? Never drinking. Ever.
16. when do you go to sleep?: Lately, between 12 and 1 in the morning. Supposed to? 11.
17. most embarrassing moment: *shrug* Little things. (snort... NO I'm not about to break out into a GC song... shhhh...) I don't really have one huge one.
18. favorite holiday: Christmas, I guess. *shrug* Not into holidays.
19. favorite food: I really don't care. I'm a picky eater, but like... the stuff I do eat, I pretty much like equally. Plus, it matters on the mood and stuff. And how long it's been since I've had it. I really don't care much about food, though.
20. favorite song: ...you're not going to make me choose, are you? O_O Um... "The Anthem" and "TY&TH" and "Emotionless" by GC... "Perfect" by SP... "The Science of Selling Yourself Short", "Help Save the Youth of American from Exploding", and "She's Gonna Break" by Less Than Jake... "Rooftops" and "Jaded" by Mest... "Message for my Daughter" by Soapbox Revolt... I'll stop here. Those are the main ones at the moment.
21. favorite television show: Charmed. Everwood is getting close, though.
22. favorite junk food: *Shrug* Dunno. Crunch bars? Kit-kats? Lays?
23. favorite sappy love song: ...uh... I'm not really into sappy love songs...
24. listening to: "Jaded" - Mest


HAVE YOU EVER...
1. done drugs: Yeah sure, I take Advil all the time. And I drink a lot of Pepsi. You know all the caffeine (which is a drug) in there! ...oh, you mean illegal? Then no.
2. run away far from home: Yeah, that's a smart idea. I'm going to leave a place where my parents love me, support me, I get free food and board, I get a lot of the stuff I want, and I'm pretty happy. Yeah. Running away from home is definitely on my to-do list.
3. hit a boy: ...uh. ...I was about to say no, but then *snort* I... have, actually. Well I kicked him. What? He was insulting me! Plus like... it wasn't like I was beating him up.
4. broken a bone: no
5. gotten drunk: underage, never drinking ever in my life, ring a bell?
6. let a friend cry on ur shoulder: Cry? Well no, but I would if a friend needed to. However, I have let a friend sleep on my shoulder on the way home from a field trip and let a friend lay on my shoulder (and on me) when she was feeling sick because of the evil mountains (pats Annie on the head). Does that count?
7. fell asleep in the shower or bath: ...no.
8. gone to church: I've been to churches, but like... not for services. Just like... checking out old historic ones while on vacation.
9. never slept during the night: Yep.
10. ever been on a motorcycle: No
11. been to a camp: Yes! SeaWorld camp! It was only for a week, but it was cool.
12. broken something valuable: uh... I don't think so.
13. thought you were in love: Never
14. screamed at someone for no reason: Kind of. I've gotten pissed off at people for no reason, all the time.
15. been hurt by a guy or girl u loved: Since I've never loved anyone (besides my parents and friends, in a platonic sense), NO.
16. stayed up on the phone til 4: I don't like the phone.
17. pulled a prank: Kind of. Not really though.


WHICH IS BETTER
1. coke or pepsi: Pepsi all the way, dude.
2. DVD or VHS: Blah. All Things Rock is on VHS tapes! But I have to go with DVD. You just can't beat it.
3. deaf or blind: Blind. I would die without music.
4. pools or hot tubs: Blah. Pools.
6. apples or oranges: Apples. Hate oranges.
7. strawberries or blueberries: Strawberries, no doubt.
8. gold or silver: Silver! ...unless it was like, involving finding bars of either in a cave somewhere next to my house which I could cash in for millions of dollars. In that case, gold.
9. vanilla or chocolate: Chocolate. How can you even ask me that question?
10. movies or music: ...you do know me, right? I mean, if you've read this blog at all, you have to know what I'm going to say. Movies of course, because you know how many times a day I go on movie rants! Oh, btw, if you think that last statement was serious, go find a dictionary. Right now. Got it? Good. Look up sarcasm. You did? Great. MUSIC IS MY LIFE. I AM OBSESSED WITH MUSIC. WHAT THE HELL ELSE WOULD I CHOOSE? I'm done. :)
11. park or beach: Spectrum! Oh fine, park. You get less sunburned at the park. Although both are horribly boring.
12. hot or cold weather?: Cold! That way my big, black, baggy clothing isn't as hot. Plus, I can wear my Made sweatshirt (SHUT UP ANNIE) in the cold.
13. sunrise or sunset: Mmm... sunrise.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...
1. took a shower: Last night
2. cried: I think it was back when I was all obsessive over that GC fic... remember those posts? Good times, good times. So... about a month ago. Well actually, this morning. But only because my contacts were irritating my eyes.
3. gotten/given a hug: ...I'm betting it was with Annie... But the last one I remember was on my Mom's birthday when she gave me a hug. I don't know why.
4. been to the movies: *scoff* Movies? I'm more busy listening to music and obsessing over certain bands! ...I guess... the last thing I saw in theaters was the Matrix, right? So... May.
5. danced: Uh... at the 8th grade promotion dance. If you call bouncing up and down and squealing to SP/GC songs dancing. Which I do, btw.


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT...
1. bill clinton: People should really get out of his love life. Yeah, he lied in court. But if people hadn't made such a big deal out of it, he wouldn't have had to. It was his personal life, and people should have left him alone. As a president, I thought he was actually really great. Plus, he had like... I think probably one of the top IQ's of all the presidents so far (I remember reading that somewhere, but I dunno if it's accurate).
2. love at first sight: There's lust at first sight. Love requires actually knowing a person.
3. abortion: A woman's right to choose. I would never do it, but I do understand there are circumstances where it would be the most appealing choice. Scenario? Well, you're 15. You just went to an awesome Good Charlotte concert (shut up and bear with me... I am going somewhere with this). Your friends couldn't go, but hey, it's only two miles away from your house, so your mom thought it would be fine. You're waiting for her outside when this 30-something year old man suddenly grabs you and shoves you into an alleyway and rapes you. You're left pregnant with his child. Now, you're 15. You don't have a reliable husband/boyfriend/anyone to help support you. An abortion would probably be the best choice if you wanted to continue on with your life. It's sad, but it happens. I don't, however, support it as a means for birth control. I know that many women are all "Oh screw birth control, I can just get an abortion if I get pregnant!" and that I do not support. However, there are some circumstances where it is necessary.
4. smoking: My grandmother and both grandfathers died from lung cancer/smoking-related diseases. I think smoking is horrible and I seriously don't see why anyone would want to do it. Yeah yeah popularity, lose weight, whatever. I never would.
5. death: A part of life everyone has to go through. Some sooner than others.
6. marilyn manson: Amusing. He dated Rose McGowan! That's cool.
7. suicide: Is horrible. Go listen to "Hold On" by Good Charlotte.


INFORMATION
1. full birth name: Michelle. Yep, that's right. No middle/last name. I was born with only one name. [/sarcasm]
2. hair color: blonde, w/blue streaks soooon.
3. eye color: blue
4. current height: according to my mom, 5'4". Yeah, I don't believe it either. Closer to 5'3"
5. birthdate: Jan. 14, 1989
6. religion: I'm an atheist. Atheism is not my religion since atheism is not a religion. I do not believe in god/s or an afterlife or Creationism or anything like that.
7. current age: 14
8. siblings: 0
9. siblings age: see above
10. location: California
11. college plans: Work my ass off in high school so I can score well on SAT's and then apply to as many colleges as possible. I don't have a specific one in mind yet. I'm not considering any ivy-league colleges at all since you really have to work and want to go to one to make it in, and I just don't have that much ambition. I'm only 14, I don't have to decide on a college right now.
12. any piercings: One in each ear. Lip piercing will come when I get my wisdom teeth out. See, they numb your mouth when they do that and then my lip will be all numb so I can get it pierced and it won't hurt as much. If they allow you to do that. I'm not quite sure. And I want more piercings in my ears too. *sigh*

SOCIAL
1. best guy/girl friend: I really don't have any guy friends. And girls? Uh. I used to always go with Ilana and Sevi, who are close friends of mine who moved years ago, but I haven't spoken to either of them for so long. And I really don't have a best friend out of my current friends. I'm close with several people, all in different ways. I'm close with Annie in a... what type of way? In a really weird way, I guess. *shrug* We have a lot in common and crap. I'm close with Tiffany because of Good Charlotte and other bands. I'm close with Jackie because... well, probably Buffy, actually. Same with Lulu. Blah. I'm stoppping there... but I have a lot of other close friends and if I didn't mention you I'm really really really sorry, but that doens't mean I don't consider you a close friend. It just means I'm too lazy to continue.
2. current crush: ...I'm not going to say Joel... I really don't have a crush on anyone. I mean, have you seen the guys that went to my middle school? Well, possibly not. But there's no one worth liking.
3. boyfriend/girlfriend: ...wasn't this question already asked?
4. are you center of attention or wallflower: Blah. With a lot of people, usually a wallflower. With just a few close friends, I'm more outgoing, but with like people I don't know, I hang back a lot.
5. what automobile do you drive:? I'm 14. I don't drive. HAVEN'T YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION?
6. do you like being around people?: No. I really don't. People piss me off. I mean, I like being around friends (although I don't like huge gatherings), but... people in general... I don't like so much.


FAVORITES
1. room in house: Bedroom
2. type of music: pop-punk/punk/rock/alternative.
4. memory: Oh god. I have to choose one? JUST ONE? Ok. I found a series of memories that... makes me feel good. When I was younger, I used to wake up at like... 7 on Saturdays (...I was a freak, shuddap) and my dad would be doing exercises in the family room and I'd "help" (which consisted of me riding on his back and stuff) and sometimes I'd come in the family room to find him on the couch and I'd climb up and rest on him and... I don't know. Just those early memories of me and my dad. They make me feel good. I have plenty of other memories, though.
5. color: Black and blue. Hey, that's a NFG song!
6. month: Either December or July.
7. season: summer/winter/spring. Anything but fall.


Ok, so I'm done. Don't you feel better knowing a little bit more about me? Of course you do! Anyways. I'm going to make my own survey like that sometime. Of course, you know it's going to be like "What is your favorite type of cheese?" and "Do you think The Day that I Die is a pro-suicide song?" and such. ;)

Hehehe. I went to Tiffany's today. GC at #3! Wowee they played a lot of the video. That's a good thing ;) Then we watched the stuff on the tape I brought: a live performance of Simple Plan (from last Friday that I talked about), an interview with Simple Plan on the New Tom Green Show last night (BWAH IT WAS FUNNY! ..i'll get to that in a second), and All Things Rock from last night. Bwahahahaha they played the video for "Jaded" by Mest but I didn't tell Tiffany and when Benji and Joel were all "...and from our cousins in Chicago..." and Tiffany was all "O_O;;; MEST!!!" and... yeah. When we watched it we were both like "Benji!" at the same time. We did that with something else too later that day, but I forgot. Still, it was amuzzling. And and... yeah. Ok, so on the live SP performance... well, nothing really funny happened. But they wrote the lyrics on the ground! Tiffany and I think it's just in case Pierre forgets the lyrics, so he can walk over to the song and see them. What? He forgets them a lot. OH and he said "Faites du bruit!" (MAKE SOME NOISE!) and I was all "He should say 'Make some noise, yo!' cuz then it'd be all 'Faites du bruit, yo!'". Tiffany thought I was weird. But... that's ok. Then yeah... we watched the New Tom Green show. It was funny. And Pierre and Tom Green were speaking some French and I UNDERSTOOD IT ALL! Tom Green was all "Est-ce que tu parles francais?" [Do you speak French?] and Pierre was all "Et bien, oui!" [And good, yes!] and then Tom Green said something like "Tous le monde?" which means "Everyone?" and he was like talking about Is this everyone in the group? and they said le group which amused me and... yeah. And they played hockey and it was cool. Thennn ATR. Hee. "I shat in my di-ty." We laughed a lot during ATR. It was awesome. And... yeah. When Tiffany saw Jaded, I was like... laughing a lot cuz she was all "O_O" and stuff. Then we went and she burned about 20 CDs that I had brought and we watched music videos and listened to shit on her computer cuz my sound doesn't work and I'm beginning to believe never will. We saw the video for Cadillac! It was cool :)


...that's pretty much it. Not sleeping as much is really catching up to me. I was pretty tired today and I have a huge headache, which I'm sure is from the lack of sleep. Well, I finished reading the TWOP recaps for Dawson's Creek, so I might as well go to sleep on time. It's just... I really don't want to go to sleep. When I go to bed I'm all "...grr... I want to stay up..." and shit. Oh well.


Night is really hard to read. I mean, it's not but... it is. For me. It's a short book and all, sure. But the thing is, I knew it was about WWII and the holocaust but I didn't realize (and I should have) how much about god there would be in it. Every single page there's something about god and all the capatalized he's? Really annoying. Grrr. Anything relating to religion has really been bugging me recently. I have a feeling I'm going to like Ender's Game a looooot better than Night.

Monday, July 21, 2003

My like... feelings about going to high school keep fluctuating. Part of the time I'm all "Ugh I don't want to go to high school, the work will be so much harder and I won't see my friends as much and blah blah blah" but then other times I'm kind of... excited. I've come to realize that I truly and a nerd at heart. I really am like... looking forward to science, which is kind of surprising. I've found through my little researching whims that I'm really interested in it. I wouldn't have known that I liked it so much since my previous science classes were crap and I didn't like a single one of them. Hopefully the science teacher will be good so I can be all excited and happy in science. Like I said; nerd at heart.


But anyways. So, at the moment, I'm kind of looking forward to high school. Not in the sense that I hate summer and I can't wait for it, because I am loving the fact that I am so bored. It's a good thing, really. And in ways I'm still really dreading high school (Essays? BLEH I'm going to die. I've got to like... get an essay tutor or something. If that's even possible. Or pay my mom to write my essays for me. *snort* Cuz you know that's gonna happen) but... at the moment, I won't be all *die* when it comes. Though I am not looking forward to band camp. Blah. 6 hours of marching and playing clarinet. Like school, only with no math/French to keep me interested. Damn, I scare myself when I'd rather go to classes of math and French than band. I think something's wrong with me. Oh yes, my inner nerd. The main reason I was all "DEATH TO BAND CAMP" was because I was all "...oh shit, I'm not going to know anyone there, am I? Oh shit, this is going to be an awful 2 weeks" but then Jackie said she's for sure going so that's one thing that I don't have to hate about it. Anyways.

Blah. Boredom! Even though I'm reading TWOP recaps. But I'm like... at the point, where they're recent enough that I've read them before. Half-way through season 6, baby! ...whoa, that was scary. I don't think that was me o_O ANyways.


What I'm trying to say is... I'm taking quizzes! The quizzes from the site that Tiffany showed me earlier (...first time I typed that, it went "later". How could she show me later, in past tense? ...yeah, I'm confusing myself. So let's move on...) and that she put on her blog. So enjoy. Cuz I know you will, and all.


tony
Mmm. You're Tony. You're the lead
singer/guitarist. You're quite involved with
Benji from GC. Or at least you like to joke
that you are. You like to party and get drunk,
and I've hear you're quite a whore.


What fuct up member of Mest are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

you want to do tony


What Mest Member Do You Wanna DOOO
brought to you by Quizilla

*What's with all the Tony answers? o_O Well, maybe because whenever there's any answer with Benji in it, my mind goes "Benji->twin of Joel->obsession liking-ful-a-lot-ness. CHOOSING THIS OPTION!". Just a thought.*

HASH(0x87427e0)
walking on broken glass


which mest song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ooooh, cutting edge! How... not very interesting.


pierre's tongue
Pierre's tongue


what SIMPLE PLAN body part are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

...not gonna say what I'm thinking right now... *cough cough*

Your mostlikey 2 have a one night stand with
pierre!!


Who are you most likely to have sex with from Simple plan?
brought to you by Quizilla

Right. I'm sure.

You are "Perfect". Right now, you think
you may not be good enough for someone. But
relax. It's your life--live it to make YOU
happy.


Which Simple Plan Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Mmm hmm. These quizzes are getting predictable. ...getting? Are predictable. S'ok though.


the twins
You're Benji and Joel - The Twins. It's illegal,
it's wrong, but you don't care. You're in love
and that's all that matters.


What Good Charlotte slash pairing are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

...no comment. o___o

Joel's Eyebrow ring
You're Joel's Long Lost Eyebrowring!!!


Which Good Charlotte Piercing Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Bwah! I loved the eyebrow ring! [pout] Heeeyyy maybe, if I meet him like, ever, I can convince him to get his eyebrow repierced! ...cuz you know the likelihood of that happening! And him listening! ;)

HASH(0x843f684)
You want to watch Joel masturbate! All the times
you see him grab his junk during the set just
makes you wanna see him do it naked. You wanna
do it for him too...


What's your Good Charlotte fetish?
brought to you by Quizilla

...O_______________O That one scares the hell outta me. I... have no comment on that one either. Other than... as much as I obsess over Joel... I really actually do not desire to watch Joel masturbate. Now, taking me to a concert, that'd be fine. Just watching GC perform (...on stage. Like at a concert. EW not in that way! Perverted minds!) is perfectly fine with me. But... Joel masturbating? I'll pass.

Benji-watermelon


What flavor condom and good charlotte member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

...watermelon flavored condoms? ...interesting. My favorite artificial flavor, coincidentally.

sp
YAY Simple Plan!these guys are all about the fans
and they rock!oh and it is an added bonus that
they are pretty cute ;) the ppl in this band
are Pierre,Chuck,David,Seb,Jeff they rock so
d/l some of their music AND buy their cd!


Are you SIMPLE PLAN or GOOD CHARLOTTE?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yay for Simple Plan! Although, GC would've been fine too. I actually don't have a preference to who a stupid quiz made by some random teenager who has nothing better to do... what was I saying? Oh. I don't really care, despite the fact that *hides from Annie* I like GC better. JUST A LITTLE! ...maybe a little more than a little. DON'T HURT MEEEEEE.


Yeah, so I'm done with that. There are a few quizzes I skipped, just cuz. And now... off to read more recaps and then plop myself in front of the TV and hope that my cable is working again. Cuz it's not now. I didn't mention that? Yeah. *kills cable company* ...of course, that probably won't help my cable very much... shhhhhh, logic does not apply here because I'm suddenly going all high! Wheeeeee.

Dun worry bout me, people. I'm all good. I just had my required hour of feeling left out/feeling unhappy for the month! It's all good! It'll be August before it happens again ;)


Anyhoo. Had a dream last night. Had something to do with Pacey, I know it did. /Joshua Jackson. I'm becoming really obsessed with him x.x


Got two of the books on the ninth grade reading list thing: "Night" and "Ender's Game". I also got the newest book in this series, "So you Want To Be a Wizard" which I was happy about since like... it's been awhile since her last one. Like, 3 years. Anyways. I also got new shoes that are too tight and I like my old ones, thank you very much, even though I've had them for a year now (oh wow, shoe record for me, sans sandals since those don't count since you can wear them for a long time and not need new ones) but I really like them and they feel so comfortable. Grrr. I [accidentally] stole a pair of socks! Yeah, I forgot to wear socks to go get new shoes and my mom insisted I wear socks so we borrowed some from the store and they forgot I borrowed them and so did I and... well, I still have them. Heh. What? It's their fault for not remembering! [pout] Anyways.


Last night? 1 AM. And when I turn off the computer and finally crawl into bed, I feel like... really regretful. I'm like... "damn... I shoulda just stayed up a little later..." cuz I really don't want to fall asleep. But I get all paranoid that my mom and dad are walking around outside my room and that they'll hear the chair creek or something so... yeah. Even though they're asleep at like, 11. Well my dad is. Minus 4 hours. And my mom... I think she probably falls asleep around midnight. So after then, I'm clear. But... I still get all paranoid. The thing is, I mean yeah I was tired when I first got up, but I'm like... really awake right now. [shrug] I don't really need that much sleep right now.


Soooo that's it. :)

Sunday, July 20, 2003

Blah. I read Jackie's Xanga and it kind of made me feel bad (as well as Annie's and Tiffany's) because like... well basically Lulu, Annie, Tiffany, and Jackie (any I'm missing?) went to Tina's sleepover party and like... I wasn't even invited. Ionno. I know I'm not that close with Tina, but it's like... probably my four closest friends, I'd say, and... they all did something without me. I'm just like... a really insecure person. I have been since sixth grade began and I had no friends and shit. And... I don't know. I feel left out, I guess. And the thing is, I don't even like sleepovers, in general. Well, mostly since the majority of the sleepovers I've had were with Carina and... she can be... a lot to deal with at one time. It drains me. And... I'm actually kind of antisocial in a way. I hate parties, I hate spending too much time with people, etc. I get super cranky, irritable, and crap. It was happening at Warped, I know I was starting to be all irritable with Annie even though she didn't deserve it. Of course, it helped when I got to meet Simple Plan, but I'm going off tangent. Basically, I'm feeling a little left out now. Even though, as I was saying, if she had invited me, I might not even have gone. As I said, in general, I really don't like sleepovers. I mean, it depends on the person, I guess. If like... say Tiffany invited me, I would because we'd talk about bands all night and get high. If Annie did, I would cuz like... ionno. She's one of my closest close friends? And cuz like... I DON'T KNOW STOP WITH ALL THE HARD QUESTIONS!!! I need to stop here. There are other people I would say yes to as well, so don't be all "...you don't want to sleepover at my house? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!!!! YOU'RE MEEEEAN I DON'T LIKE YOU DIE DIE DIE!!!" because it's not like that. You know, this is one of the reasons I didn't want anyone to know about this blog when I first made it. Because when people read it, you can't just go say whatever you want. I have to hide my feelings more cuz I don't want friends to be worried about me and if I'm mad at somone or get annoyed and I can't go [dude, this is just an example... Tiffany understands cuz we were actually talking about this on Saturday at the spectrum] "God, when I was at the spectrum Tiffany was soooo annoying! She was all high and PEOPLE STARED AT US AND I GOT ALL EMBARRASSED CUZ I CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME!" And again, example, and waaaay over exaggerated because it's awesome when people stare at us cuz we're all high and... yeah. Anyways. The thing is, I can't like... say whatever I want because I'm afraid of hurting/insulting someone.


Wow, another tangent. Blah. Summary? I feel left out. I shouldn't, because I'm not that close with Tina really, but... I do. Like I was saying before, I'm really insecure. You get that way when someone you've been best friends with for 5 years all of a sudden gets a mutual friend to e-mail you and tell you that aforementioned best friend doesn't want to be friends with you anymore and you're left with no friends whatsoever and you're having family problems and you're self conscious about the way you look and you're having more trouble in school and your grades aren't so hot and... bitter? Me? Nah.
I'm just saying, I used to be a really secure person, and now I'm not. I really hate that. I don't like feeling all needy. Like, I finally have really close friends who I can actually like count on for once... and I'm afraid of like... being too friendly. I'm afraid that I'm going to drive them away again. Everyone talks about friends being all drifted apart in high school, especially if you go to different schools... but I don't want that to happen. I'm sick of being friendless. I like having good friends. I don't want to lose them.


Blah. I sicken myself. I'm actually really usually not depressed. I used to be so much in sixth grade, but.. I've hit my low. It's all uphill from here. And I don't like being all... like this, because then I start feeling bad about myself and I don't want to feel bad about myself. Like I said, I usually feel really good, actually. I'm not as depressed everyone else I see. I mean, they always talk about teens being all depressed all the time and I've seen it in my friends as well... but I'm not depressed.


I just feel a little lonely.

The dinner [dude, when I first typed that, I typed "The boring"] wasn't as bad as I thought. It was just boring, which I already indicated in the first sentence. Luckily, my uncle wasn't there. And I was wrong. He doesn't just have a job at a convenience store. He also works a paper route.


So, it was me, my parents, my aunt, and her roommate/friend/boyfriend type person. He's a dork. Seriously. They say that you grow out of that face, but he never did. Luckily, he got a haircut, so he doesn't look as stupid as before. You can tell how out of place he is when we go to family dinner things. The only thing I'm grateful for at family dinner things is that I'm my dad's daughter and not say my mother or my aunt's boyfriend. You know, my dad and my aunt fit in fine because they're brother and sister, but my aunt's boyfriend is completely out of place, and my mom is sometimes as well. I'm sort of forced into place since I'm his daughter.


I nearly fell asleep at the table. Did I mention that I can't get to sleep at night anymore and that last night I signed off AIM, turned off the lights in my room, pretended to go to sleep, and then read recaps on TWOP until like 2 AM? Oh look, I just did. So yeah, I was basically exhausted during it. The only reason I would want my uncle to be there is because he's funny and I would have laughed a lot more. The only things remotely interesting they talked about was me going to band camp [and that's incredibly boring and a sort of "Who the fuck cares--besides me?" thing, so that shows you how boring the rest of the conversation is] and Warped tour. My mom incorrectly labeled it as a rock concert, when really it is a punk festival. Yeah yeah, so many of the bands on it aren't punk, Simple Plan is pop-punk, whatever, shut the hell up and let me explain. Pop-punk, while not punk-rock, is a form of punk, so it's ok to call the festival a punk festival, especially since a lot of bands on it are more punk [i.e. Rancid, Pennywise, etc.]


Anyways. I got really annoyed at my mom though. She just tells really really boring stories to anyone who will listen. And, hello? You don't have to keep going on, we already got the fucking point! Although, I'm one to talk. Just ask Tiffany--I've told the same stories to her repeatedly. I got it from her, I'm sure.


We went to dinner in a Mexican restaurant. Blah. Blah blah blah. I hate Mexican food. And you know, I really hated the song "Mamma Mia" in English. It's just as bad in Spanish. The single and only reason I'm happy we went out to dinner is that it means my dad's finally finishing the alcohol crap he's going through. He had to stay home all day Sunday's with a little monitor thing on his ankle to make sure he was at home. He had to take breathalizer tests incessantly as well. However, us being able to go out on a Sunday signifies the end of that part.


Unfortunately, my dad and aunt said we'd be getting together in early August since my uncle will be able to meet then. He couldn't now because he was covering two shifts at the convenience store he works at. And during that time, my mother will be in Minnesota at her little writers convention thing [she goes to it every year and this year she's guest of honor]. So I'll be stuck at a dinner with my aunt, her boyfriend, my uncle, and only my dad to... well, hide behind. Blah.

New layout. Nice, eh? Well ok, not new layout per se. More like new graphic and then I changed all the colors to be red. But but... that's ok! I like this graphic better than the other one, despite the fact that the red doesn't quite match. THAT'S OK THOUGH! It's still awesome.

I've been listening to the Less Than Jake CD I got this morning. Less Than Jake is awesome, man ;)


Now I'm listening to my Further Seems Forever CDs. And still reading recaps. Pointless post, ne? Yes. Well, that's ok. Not everything I do has to have a point. I can blog if I feel like it.


Oh! I have a point! Jackie made a xanga and I linked it! Seeee, I'm all point-y! ...not literally. Cuz.. that would hurt everyone around me. Although it would be useful in mosh pitts.
Wow I'm feeling really random/high right now o_O How odd. I think the Less Than Jake CD did it to me.

Saturday, July 19, 2003

I didn't mention this before, but I decided to do it now before I go to sleep.


Tina IMed me a little bit earlier and asked if I was doing anything tomorrow. I told her that yeah, it was my aunt's bday and I had to do family crap. She said it was too bad and said something about if Tiffany hadn't told her I was busy or something she would've asked me to go to the spectrum with them for her bday. Ionno if that's true, or if Tiffany told her that I know about her party thing or whatever, but it was nice that she made the gesture to say that. Even if she was lying or whatever about the second part, it was nice and I appreciated it. I like knowing people care, or at least think about me, you know? I don't want my friends to forget me or whatever. So, yeah. Just thought I'd say that. Now off to pretend to go to sleep and then continue to read recaps/research NDE's. *waves*

Snerk. I was listening to TYATH since I needed comforting (ionno why... don't bug me about it... I... was just in a real GC mood) and then it went to My Bloody Valentine and I was listening to the lyrics and then it was all "Flashing lights" and I started cracking up insanely which is weird since if I was going to crack up at that at all, it should have been right after Tiffany first tried singing that song after school when Annie continually poked her and Tiffany was stuck on flashing lights and kept singing (if you can call it that ;)) that part of the song loudly and... going off here. But basically, it's really random for me to be laughing at that now when it happened over a month ago, but it did, and I know that everytime I listen to My Bloody Valentine I'm going to crack up like hell.


Anyhoo. That's all for now. *goes back to recaps*

Feeling sappy again. It's weird, I usually don't feel like this, but lately at night I've been all... sappy. I think it's from reading recaps of season 4 Dawson's Creek (guilty pleasure! shut up! plus, TWOP recaps are the best) and I got all sappy about Pacey/Joey even though I know they end up together in the end, even if then it seemed hopeless. Anyhoo. So I guess it could be that.


I stopped researching NDE's because I couldn't find anything that wasn't a load of crap. Damnit, I want scientific facts, research, etc., I don't want all this spew about seeing the other side and being told it wasn't their time and the Angel of Light and shit. I want stuff like what scientists believe cause it (I read yeterday something about hormones the brain sends out to decrease fear and other shit), what's involved with it (well, that I actually know from reading "Passage" by Connie Willis. Read it, btw. Read anything from her, she's awesome), all that kind of stuff. Bah. I might go back to it later. After I finish reading the last of the season 4 recaps.


Want to see my current list of what I plan on researching? Too bad, showing you anyways:

  • NDE's - Near Death Experiences
  • neurotheology - research on a certain part of the brain having to do with religion... I think it's in very early stages right now.
  • evolution/evolutionism
  • Creationism
  • agnoticsm
  • freethought
  • holidays - origins, what they originally entailed, how they changed
  • depression
  • other mental disorders
  • philosophy/philosophers - not sure if I'm going to tackle this one anytime soon, but philosophy is interesting. I had to learn it in fourth grade. And sixth grade. Got a 38% on my philosophy test in fourth grade. That was one of the high scores. Blah. [/tangent]
  • Darwin
  • religions - aspects, beliefs, gods, origins, where they dominate today, what percentage of US follows that religion, basically anything I can find.
  • scientology
  • humanism
  • paganism - I know this goes with religions, but there are certain things I want to research about this and such.


    I think that's all for now. Should keep me occupied all summer :)